I know the attitude of gratitude has been a really big movement in both pop psychology and the new age/spiritual movement. But I am here to tell you my friend, you don’t have to be only grateful.

You get to be the multifaceted and complex being that is human and spirit combined, which means you can feel more than one feeling at one time!

In fact, if you are mad about something, I want you to honour your mad. Can you be grateful that you are ok in this moment, sure! but that doesn’t negate the feelings you are having about what you are going through.

There is another popular saying that you can’t hold the energy or feeling of love and fear at the same time, to which I call bullshit. Any parent can tell you that they lovingly look at their sleeping child (or animal for my pet parent peeps) and hold a fear at the same volume that they hold that love. That is nature. you aren’t doing anything wrong and it doesn’t negate how much you love them. Fear and love are often enmeshed with each other.

When we try to distance ourselves from the feelings that we label as less desirable or ‘not good’ we are totally fucking ourselves over. Our delicious shadow energy (which falsely makes it sound like our ‘bad’ feelings aren’t filled with light and goodness) is where our most profound change, love, self acceptance and confidence comes from.

so how about for a month you try shadow journaling instead of gratitude journaling and see what happens!

SHADOW JOURNALING

step 1: get a journal (or a stack of paper, or make a shadow folder in your notes app)
step 2: (optional) set a timer for 10 minutes. this will help you keep track of time, and it will help you write and keep writing, and stop when you need.
step 3: Write all your grumps, grievances, frustrations, resentments, irritations, fiery quips and spicy feelings out. Repeat daily. * it is helpful to swear, to be mean and to write things you would never ever say to someones face, this is meant to be a safe space to get that shit out without hurting anyones feelings, including your own. (btw if you are putting someone else’s feelings as more important as your own, you are hurting your own feelings. and if that brought some feelings up - go put it in your shadow journal!)
step 4: When the timer is up notice how you feel, are you actually lighter, grumpier, better, worse? (if you need more time hit that snooze button and go again!)
step 5: if you want to - burn it (safely - in a fire safe container and in a fire safe place!) you can do that when the journal is done or on a daily basis (*note do not burn your phone, it is not a good option for a burning ceremony)
step 6: (optional) do something really kind for yourself. Have a chocolate, a bath, a good cry, leave a voice memo for a friend swearing creatively, dance, drum, walk, snuggle a dog… do this one if you aren’t feeling great after your journaling session - if you are feeling fantastic because you just released a bunch of pent up energy go do you and enjoy your day. (you can still have some chocolate though - no excuse needed!)

p.s If you want some shadow journal prompts let me know HERE