If you get the sense that there is someone around that you can feel but can’t see and it freaks you out, I want you to know that we have been conditioned to believe ghosts and spirits must be scary.

Ghost stories are always told with the lens of fear and ghosts themselves have been consistently portrayed as mean, evil, harmful, shitty beings. Horror movies (which is where most of our ghost related references come from by the way) always puts the most marginalized people in harms way of the ghosts - we often have women who are alone and in distress, children possessed, hauntings in low income places, etc.
PLUS we have ghost hunting shows that go to the most notoriously haunted places - which again, is the places where the most at-risk, vulnerable and marginalized people were the most harmed (mental institutions/asylums/hospitals, prisons, old taverns, places where many people were murdered or wars took place)

Did you ever notice that is isn’t a lot of well-to-do people? men of the church? wealthy individuals who live in wealthy places? if there are people of a certain wealth that haunt - it is usually a woman in white or grey who is longing for the husband who left for mysterious lands and never came home. The story is we see her staring out the window sadly waiting bereft and alone - but never think that maybe she has a story that isn’t about a man that she probably had to marry in order to survive.

Are you wondering why that is yet??

Who directly benefits from these narratives? who is the most harmed when disconnected from their ancestors? who benefits from having people in fear and powerless? and who is the most afraid of people being connected to their spiritual supports?

No matter where you are from, your ancestors used to commune with spirits. The loved ones that passed were still apart of their lives, and in most non-westernized cultures, this still happens.

In our westernization (colonization), the power we had being in relationship with our spirit fam (whether loved ones or our spiritual guides, deities, etc) and the messages and guidance they share through intuition, the love and support that they poured into us and the safety and confidence that that brought - was not what the powers that be (colonizers) wanted, when we are disconnected to our power, we pour our power into them and they get to have it all - money included!
To get us to be afraid of the spirit world keeps us disconnected from a whole wealth of knowledge, a connection to something bigger that resonates in our soul, and our own empowered experience. It keeps us small, afraid, untethered, unsure, and constantly needing to have the wrong outside sources validate who we are.

Your spirits that are with you, aren’t scary. They are your ancestors, your loved ones, your beings that want you to thrive, to feel love and to be everything you want to be.

If you are feeling afraid, simply tell them,

“right now I am uncomfortable with how you’re showing up, but I am glad you are here. Can you come through this way (how ever you feel comfortable with) instead please?”

“I love that you want to connect with me, but when I am in bed, it isn’t the time I want to chat with you or feel you around. Instead, can you come through at this time?”

“I appreciate you coming through for me, when I light this candle, I want you to know that I am here to connect with you and am receptive to building our relationship”

“If there is a spirit or energy here that is harmful, I ask my ancestors to support me in keeping me/us safe and helping that spirit or energy go to where it needs to where it can no longer cause harm”

99.99% of the spirits I encounter are not causing harm, if they are seeking attention it is usually with the intention of asking for help and not having any other way to ask. Even that 0.01% needs help too, they usually just need more time before they’ll accept it or have other soul requirements they need to complete before moving along.

Please connect with me if you want help to connect to your ancestors, want to work through and overcome your fears of spirit, heal the wounds of colonization and reconnect with your power that is your birthright.